Question: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Band 8+ Sample Answer v1 (supporting cooperation)
(Intro) Opinion is divided on whether children should be encouraged to develop a sense of cooperation or a competitive spirit. In this essay, I will look at the rationale behind both camps before giving my support to the former.
(Body 1) On the one hand, some argue that instilling a sense of rivalry in children can motivate them to strive for higher accomplishments. For instance, a competitive spirit could motivate students to work harder in order to achieve the top spot in their class rankings. This might assist them to develop their organisational skills and work ethic in order to win over other students. This also serves as good training for their future working lives, which will be filled with intense competition. For instance, technology behemoths such as Apple, Google, and Facebook encourage a competitive spirit and frequently promote individual bonuses and promotions to their employees in the interest of innovation and profitability.
(Body 2) Despite this, I would argue that learning how to cooperate plays a pivotal role in achieving a groups’ common goals. Team sports are a perfect illustration of this. For example, football strikers know they are more likely to achieve success if they rely on each other during a game, rather than selfishly seeking moments of personal glory. When youngsters are taught how to behave in this manner, they are more likely to apply it in their professional careers when they reach the labor market. Although employees may navigate towards working independently in many situations, a business is much more likely to prosper if team members interact and work towards shared goals. Successful companies never encourage competition at the expense of cooperation, and if anything try to create a synergy of the two.
(Conclusion) In conclusion, while encouraging children to compete against each other can lead to transformative personal success, the achievements of teams of people gained through cooperation are unequivocally more likely. Therefore Children should learn the value of individual success but also the indispensable nature of teamwork when utilised by communities and organisations. (333 words)
Band 8+ Sample Answer v2 (supporting competition)
(Intro) Opinion is divided on whether children should be encouraged to develop a sense of cooperation or a competitive spirit. In this essay, I will look at the rationale behind both camps before giving my support to the latter
(Body 1) On the one hand, some argue that learning how to cooperate plays a pivotal role in achieving a groups’ common goals. Team sports are a perfect illustration of this. For example, football strikers know they are more likely to achieve success if they rely on each other during a game, rather than selfishly seeking moments of personal glory. When youngsters are taught how to behave in this manner, they are more likely to apply it in their professional careers when they reach the labor market. Although employees may navigate towards working independently in many situations, a business is less likely to prosper if team members fail to interact and work towards shared goals.
(Body 2) Despite this, I would contend that instilling a sense of rivalry in children can motivate them to strive for higher accomplishments. For instance, a competitive spirit would likely motivate students to work harder in order to achieve the top spot in their class rankings. This might assist them to develop their organisational skills and work ethic in order to win over other students. This also serves as good training for their future working lives, which will be filled with intense competition. For instance, technology behemoths such as Apple, Google, and Facebook encourage a competitive spirit and frequently promote individual bonuses and promotions to their employees in the interest of innovation and profitability.
(Conclusion) In conclusion, while teaching children how to cooperate with others is unequivocally conducive to a groups’ shared aims, I would suggest that preparing them with a sense of competition can safeguard their individual success better. It is important to realise that successful teams are made up of successful individuals. However children should learn how to compete fairly and be equipped with the soft skills necessary to achieve these victories. (332 words)
Words: Student essay, corrected & upgraded by Nick Kemp, former IELTS examiner.
Image: Anna Samoylova / Unsplash
Comments