Question: Some people think the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while in jail. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 8+ Sample Answer:
(Intro) People hold different views about how best to reduce the rate of crime. While some people claim that the best way is to provide them with proper education in jail, I would say that there are better ways to tackle the issue, including better education in schools and stricter punishments.
(Body 1) On the one hand, educating criminals when they are in jail is justifiable to some extent. Studies in Vietnam have shown that the motivation to commit crime boils down mainly to people’s lack of proper education, leading to their inability to land a good job. As a result, they may struggle to make ends meet and a proportion of those in the right circumstances could resort to committing crimes in order to provide for themselves and their families. By receiving some appropriate vocational training which equips them with crucial skills, they can stand a higher chance of finding a decent job. It can also afford ex-offenders the opportunity of rehabilitation in order to lead normal lives after they leave prison and integrate back into society.
(Body 2) However, I am of the opinion that other more effective measures can be taken to deal with the problem. The first thing that we can do is to launch some educational programs for teenagers in schools as a significant percentage of juvenile crime stems from insufficient awareness of the consequences of a life of crime. When adolescents are fully aware of the outcomes of their misdeeds they may face, they may be less likely to break the laws. Following on to another idea, I believe that stricter punishments should be introduced, to act as a deterrent to those considering criminal activity. As many criminals are not first-time offenders, and if education alone does not work for them, then in this case, punishing wrongdoers more severely could discourage them from repeating offences as they are fully aware of the serious consequences of continuing to commit crimes.
(Conclusion) In conclusion, despite the benefits of vocational training in jail, I firmly believe that other actions such as education in school and severe punishments can be implemented to prevent and reduce crimes more effectively. No doubt a multi-pronged approach can transform a significant number of lives by keeping them out of prison. (373 words).
Essay: Student Essay by Lucas Nguyen, fully corrected and upgraded by Nick Kemp, former IELTS Examiner.
Image: RichardMc / Pixabay.
Comments